It's Not Fair!!!

My precious (almost) 5 year old is really going through a "it's not fair" stage right now.  She keeps saying it..over and over and over!  Usually she sees it as not fair from her perspective-like sissy gets something she doesn't.  I confirm her message that life isn't "fair" but try to show her from the other perspective-that she is on the blessed side of it not being fair.  We've talked about our Compassion child, Nazia and her living conditions compared to ours.  I remind her how blessed she is to have food and home and a mom and dad who love her.  I've told her that it's not fair that Jesus died for our sins-it wasn't fair to Him...but He did it!

Even after all this-she keeps repeating the phrase "it's not fair!!!" when things don't go her way. Yesterday she had a big fit because her little sister got to put her water in to make mac and cheese first.  As a mom, I had a reason for that-Aleigha takes WAY longer to eat, so she needed to start cooking hers first.  Zaleigh got very upset that it wasn't fair that Aleigha got to make hers first...she had to go cool off in her room before we could even talk. 

While she cooled off, I prayed about how to teach her.  I recognized that the problem is comparison-wanting what other's have...unfortunately, she comes by it naturally!  I recalled the last part of John 21 when Peter asks "what about him?" wanting to know if John's fate would be the same as his. Jesus' answer is what we need to focus on when life doesn't seem fair "...what is that to you? You must follow me" John 21:22b

So Zaleigh and I decided that when she feels like something isn't fair, instead of whining she will say "This doesn't seem fair, BUT God is good all the time and I will trust Him!!" We'll see how that works out for her :)

I've already been confronted with it!  I was feeling grouchy and grumpy...because life doesn't seem fair and I don't understand God.  My friend's brother died a year ago at such a young age...that's not fair!  When I think about her parents loosing their son (and can't imagine loosing my precious girls)...that's not fair!  Today I think about my daddy who has been gone for 14 years....that's not fair!  When a momma looses a baby that she didn't even get to hold....that's not fair!  There are many things in life that aren't fair...but we have a choice to make.

As He often does, God used the words I lead my daughters with to teach me as well...Am I trusting God even though it doesn't seem fair?   What is it to me that He chooses this for my life and something different for another's life...I will follow Him!

Isaiah 55:9“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

I won't keep searching for answers that aren't here to find....

All I know is I'm not home yet
This is not where I belong
Take this world and give me Jesus

Passion

I can't sleep...always a good time to blog, right? Somehow while I was praying in bed, my mind raced off thinking about passions and trying to categorize people's passions.  So here I find myself at 2:20 in the morning trying to get these thoughts on this screen.  In about an hour my husband will wake up (too early) to pursue his passion of hunting (morea bout that passion another day:)). 

I was thinking of how creative God is in His design of people.  There are people who are passionate about things that I honestly care very little about...and I'm sure there are many people who care little about my passion as as well.  I guess that's why we have relationships...to balance out...to learn and grow.  As I was thinking about some of the various passions, God revealed to me that they really aren't all that different. 

My husband rediscovered one of his passions this summer as he worked with men of God to minister to boys by rebuilding a hot rod and a motorcycle in one week.  Talk about some passionate men!!! The wise men that have been involved in heart of a craftsman ministered to my husband by showing him that one of his passions can be used to bring glory to God. 

How?  I'm glad you asked! They take time to PREPARE a car and motorcycle to be redesigned...to be made "new".  This preparation takes MUCH time and effort.  Then they spend a week with boys and let the boys see the results of a week of hard work by revealing the new vehicle.  The boys, men, and vehicles are all transformed...and they bring glory to God!  These men use passionate preparation to praise the Lord.

Stay with me here...this might be strange at first...but it made sense in my mind on no sleep, so I'm hoping it will as I type it out here!  Last weekend we got to spend some time with my cousin and her family at the fair.  Her husband was PREPARING cattle to show at the fair.  I've not been around this, so it was new and fascinating to me! She explained much to me-during the conversation she said they felt like they had found something that their family could enjoy together by raising and showing cattle.  He was so passionate about it and mentioned it during one of his breaks from the strenuous work.  Even as they start this endeavor, they have already seen results...and their story of getting there is neat! She has changed careers to pursue her passions and it is opening doors in their lives!

I know many people who are passionate about teaching/coordinating for education.  This requires much preparation...and it is preparing students! My friends Ann and Jessica both work in supervisory roles preparing many people to impact many students....their jobs must be tough...they must have passion to be successful!! The teachers at my daughters' schools must be passionate to make a difference in preparing young people!!

You may not have thought about it, but you may be passionate about preparation as well!  Parenting is all about preparation- I have many passionate parent friends (too many to list, but Tiffany and Corina come to mind).  Preparing the next generation to know, love, and serve Jesus is at the top of my list!  I have a friend Jennifer who is passionate about helping people take care of their body...preparing them to serve the Lord by being healthy!  I want to prepare the bride of Christ for His return (more about this soon!)

As I thought about passionate preparation I realized each of the passionate people I thought of have similarities...

What do passionate people have in common? 

-HARD WORK

-PREPARING
-SHINE-bring out the best in what they are preparing (Whether vehicles, cows, or people)
Passion is given by God to reveal His purpose and glory.
Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

What are you passionate about?  Are you pursuing it?   Other than Passionate Preparation, there is Passionate Purification (Ruin or Destruction), and Passionate Pursuit.  Please share your passions in the comments so I can see if how it fits in the patterns I'm seeing...and we may talk more about this soon!

How we remember

I tend to be one who ignores feelings that I don't want to deal with.  An ostrich.  I just move on as if nothing happened and everything will be okay.  That's what I have done for a while each time I have lost a loved one.  Ignore it, think it will go away...of course it doesn't.  But maybe the time I took in ignoring it allowed God to build my strength up to handle it-or allowed me to see that He is the one who will walk me through it. 


Of course today is 9/11 and it's a day we will never forget...but I don't really want to remember.  Having a very inquisitive 4 year old, it was impossible for me to completely ignore it-she asks such probing questions.  I was not personally impacted as far as the loss of a loved one on that day, so it was fairly easy to answer her questions without being overcome by grief.  I guess I was able to explain it and look at it from an historical perspective...like something you would read from a history book as if you didn't experience it in your lifetime.  Is the disconnect a good thing?  Am I afraid to really engage in it and deal with the feelings and grief? It reminded me of how I have processed grief in my life....asking myself if I have processed it fully. 



I can't imagine the families of the 9/11 victims (or any other public events) who have to process their grief publicly.  The media coverage-of course we don't want to forget....but to the families who are ready to move on-they will have a hard time ignoring this day.  Thankfully, on the 10th anniversary of the loss of either of my parents, there was no one asking me how I was doing or how it had changed my life.  I am very thankful I was able to handle the grief privately...allowing the Lord to heal me in His way and His time and not need to answer to media. I think the familiese need to know that others care and remember their loved ones, but I can't imagine the whole nation remembering the date and circumstances of that loss.


Praying today for our nation, for those who lost loved ones (on this day or any other) that we will experience Isaiah 61 in our lives. 



1 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,
2 to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor.

This song is God's plan for us in the midst of tragedy...He wants His people to rise!

promises in darkness

This week I've been blogging about a recent time I felt discouraged and how God has delivered me out of that darkness.  Since it's not a new thing for me but something I continually trust Him to do....I have a set of index cards that have some of my favorite promises for the darkness.  He is so faithful to restore joy and pull me out of whatever mess I'm in!  Today I just want to share some fun upbeat songs and scriptures that have helped me! If you are struggling in some area now, I encourage you to call out to Jesus!! He is the one who will rescue you-He loves you and has a plan for your life!

This song has the words of Philippians 4:13 in a catchy tune!  Great words to remember and believe when I'm down and it doesn't feel like I can do anything. 

Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure because you will not abandon me! Psalm 16:9

But you are a shield around me, O Lord, you bestow glory on me and lift up my head.  Psalm 3:3

I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.  Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.  Psalm 27:13-14

Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you.  For you, oh Lord have delivered my soul from death, my eyes form tears, my feet from stumbling.  Psalm 116:7-8  (This one makes me want to dance and shout!!!)

Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me?  Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my saviour and my God.  Psalm 42:5 (This one reminds me that even the psalmist had down days, but trusted in God!)

This song has the words of  1 John 4:4.  God is greater than any darkness I may face!

Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior.  The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights.  Habakkuk 3:18-19

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Romans 12:12

When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.  Psalm 94:19

Though you have made me see troubles many and bitter, you will restore my life again...my lips will shout for joy when I sing praise to you! Psalm 71:20,23

You have made known to me the path of life!  You will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasure at your right hand.  Psalm 16:11

Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.  Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us, for as many years as we have seen trouble.  Psalm 90:14-15

I sought the Lord and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.  Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.  Psalm 34:4-5

This song just makes me move!

Thank you Lord for your word!  It's pleasant words are as a honeycomb, sweet to the sweet to the mind and healing to the body (Prov 16:24).  Thank you Lord for your faithful promises and for always demonstrating your love in our lives.  Lord I pray that you would use your Word to encourage every reader of this blog today! Let us look to Jesus quickly when life seems tough, the faster we turn to him the faster He helps us!  In Jesus name, Amen. 

 May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17

There are obviously MANY more encouraging and uplifting scriptures.  I know for me, when I am down I sometimes don't have the desire to search for them-that's why I have written them out on cards.  Some of the verses are found in Beth Moore's Praying God's Word -a wonderful resource for many areas!  If you have a favorite verse that always encourages you....please leave it in the comments for other readers to be encouraged!  Thanks for reading today:)

Into the Light

In the last post, I admitted to feelings of darkness.  My heart is learning to echo the words of Paul -Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 2 Corinthians 12:9  Since I have shared about my weaknesses, in this post I want to share what God has taught me and how His word has brought me into the Light!

And I will give you the treasures of darkness and hidden riches of secret places, that you may know that it is I, the Lord, the God of Israel, Who calls you by your name.Isaiah 45:3 AMP

This verse just popped out to me!!! There are treasures of darkness...things I can learn when I feel down and discouraged? YES!!! Knowing this promise makes a season of darkness have a purpose.  It brings to life Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.  Something good will come out of a season of darkness when I cling to the ONE who knows me in that darkness and wants to bring me into His marvelous light. 

He brought them out of darkness and the deepest gloom
and broke away their chains.
Psalm 107:14 (are you singing my chains are gone:)?)

The people walking in darkness
have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of deep darkness
a light has dawned.
Isaiah 9:2

Jesus is that light!  His words confirm this in John 12:46 I have come into the world as a light, so that no one who believes in me should stay in darkness. I don't have to stay in darkness when I look to Jesus!!

the LORD turns my darkness into light.
2 Samuel 22:29

Light shines in the darkness for the upright.
He is gracious, compassionate, and righteous.
Psalm 112:4 HCSB

Who among you fears the LORD
and obeys the word of his servant?
Let him who walks in the dark,
who has no light,
trust in the name of the LORD
and rely on his God.
Isaiah 50:10

What I need to learn in the darkness is summed up in Isaiah 50:10....to trust God.  Why shouldn't I?  His promises are precious and He is good!

For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves Colossians 1:13

Thank you Lord for bringing me into your marvelous light!  I know there may be another day or season of darkness-when it comes, strengthen my heart and remind me that you are light and I have precious promises in You!  Oh Lord, I know that there are many people who feel the heaviness of darkness as I have.  Lord shine your light on them and break their chains!! You LORD are my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in YOU, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to YOU in song (Psalm 28:7)

Come back tomorrow...I'm working on another post about the light!

Out of Darkness

I don't know why it's hard to admit when I feel sad.  I don't like to say I'm feeling down or discouraged or depressed.  I think I run from those feelings because of my family's health history.  I know that Jesus has set me free and I will not suffer from bipolar as my momma did....He showed me that promise years ago (He has made me a new creation and healed me!!).  I guess when I have any negative feelings my mind starts the downward spiral and I start to doubt His promises.  What if I do end up unable to function...living in my bed and leaving my children to fend for themselves-what if I do end up like my mom??? That is a big lie that the enemy uses in my life when I have negative emotions.

So...I'm admitting it...I have been in darkness off and on for a few weeks.  It's so hard because it seems like it's over and then is comes back! I spend time with my healer and feel the joy of His presence and then life happens and I feel like I'm on that negative spiral AGAIN!  I end up feeling condemned for my thoughts and emotions ...especially if there's 'nothing wrong'-when life looks good and there is not something I can blame  for my emotions. I have to remember that Jesus said we will have trouble in this world (John 16:33) so I don't need to condemn myself for my feelings and emotions...just deal with them as they come.  If I remember the second part of the verse-to take heart because He has overcome the world-then I will remember that He will get me through these negative emotions.

According to Psalm 139, it doesn't do me any good to try to ignore or deny the feelings of darkness, He knows.  I don't have to hide from God or try to be happy in my own power-God already knows what I am thinking and feeling.  I can be honest with Him and face the darkness because He is LIGHT!!
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
Psalm 139:12

You, O LORD, keep my lamp burning;
my God turns my darkness into light.
Psalm 18:28

Do not gloat over me, my enemy!
Though I have fallen, I will rise.
Though I sit in darkness,
the LORD will be my light.
Micah 7:8

I read the chapter about negative emotions in Stormie Omartian's book Praying Through the Deeper Issues of Marriage.  It talks about the feelings of being disconnected and distant and the habit of focusing on the negative side of things.  This chapter also has some great Bible verses that really spoke to me about this darkness. This quote explains how I've felt:

You can still have the light of the Lord Within you and yet have the darkness of oppression settle on you and invade your life like an enemy encroaching on the territory of your being.  (A few pages later) Negative emotions are not something you have to live with.  In fact, you must do whatever is necessary to get rid of them.  They not only hurt you, they hurt your spouse and children as well.  God has given you a way out of them thought the power of prayer, praise, His Word, His presence, and His love.

I have seen the truth of Stormie's words that it hurts others.  I have noticed that when I am feeling down and thinking negatively-I'm usually focused on myself.  If I'm only thinking about myself, I am not able to be a good friend or pay attention to the needs of others.  I think this is one reason the enemy wants to keep me feeling darkness. 

Do not hand over the life of your dove to wild beasts;
do not forget the lives of your afflicted people forever.
Have regard for your covenant,
because haunts of violence fill the dark places of the land.
Do not let the oppressed retreat in disgrace;
may the poor and needy praise your name.
Psalm 74:20-21

I sought the LORD, and he answered me;
he delivered me from all my fears.
Those who look to him are radiant;
their faces are never covered with shame.
Psalm 34:45-5

He is calling me out of darkness!!! He answers me...I will look to him and be radiant, not full of shame!! Thank You Jesus!!!!

There is so much I've learned in the last few weeks (in fact I've been working on this post for almost a week now).  I think I will find time to continue this week blogging about light and  some other verses that have helped when I've been down.  Thanks for reading:)

Connersvine - Live For You

Check out this video on YouTube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AXt8LQeUVCM&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Sent from Gwen's iPhone

Baby Blessings

My cheeks are still tear stained..I can't dry my eyes.  I saw a fb friend's status today about remembering her angel in heaven.  I saw another friend's status about praying for the family of a baby who just died.  I found these two stories (don't look at them if you don't want to cry)!   Mamie       Miller

My heart just hurts.  I can't even describe it.  I can't imagine the pain of giving birth to a stillborn or having a baby in heaven after only a few weeks here.  I know the pain of miscarriage, but not having carried a baby full term and loosing her.  I have a few friends who have been there.  Yet they have hope.  I guess that's the only way to keep going....to believe that God has a plan for it. 

So...even though I'm still crying this was good for me to consider.  I've had a rough week with my girls....but I have them!  They are with me, I can feel their sweet warm skin and smell their breath and stroke their hair and hear them giggle.  They may not always listen or do what I would like, but they are full of love and energy...and they are here!!! 

• I will remember how blessed I am to have such sweet girls the next time they are whining or screaming or not sleeping. 
• I will remember that God chose me to be their momma and He has a plan for their lives and mine. 
• I will remember that God will give me all I need to be their momma...so when I am short on patience I will go to Him. 

Thank you Jesus for this reminder today!  Thank you for giving me the opportunity to be a momma.  Let me never take it for granted.  Remind me that it is your strength that will make me the momma I desire to be.  Let me always be thankful for the precious girls you have given me.  Lord, comfort those who have lost their babies-just hold them. You have a plan for their pain-you will heal their hurts...call them to you!  Thank you Lord for your goodness and mercy.  In Jesus name.  Amen

Darkness

I have been feeling sad...don't know why...just struggling right now.  My sweet husband came and took the girls for a couple of hours this morning so I could pray and get better.  Life today was on in the background before the girls left and I heard them talking about being free and discussing Psalm 74.  So I turned there and this stood out to me:

Do not hand over the life of your dove to wild beasts;

do not forget the lives of your afflicted people forever.
Have regard for your covenant,
because haunts of violence fill the dark places of the land.
Do not let the oppressed retreat in disgrace;
may the poor and needy praise your name.
Psalm 74:19-21

This is how I feel today.  I know we can't always trust our feelings...but today I feel afflicted and oppressed.  It helps me to know that I am not the only one to ever feel this way. I remember the freedom I felt when I received that revelation-David was up and down emotionally and he was described as a man after God's own heart.  Elijah was a prophet and still ran...after God powerfully showed himself.  (see 1 Kings 18).  So if these men can still be used by God, so can I-I will not be condemned for my feelings. 

Father's love letter

This is a precious letter I found on another blog this morning....click here to watch it on video, or just read it below. 

My Child,


You may not know me,

but I know everything about you.

Psalm 139:1



I know when you sit down and when you rise up.

Psalm 139:2



I am familiar with all your ways.

Psalm 139:3



Even the very hairs on your head are numbered.

Matthew 10:29-31



For you were made in my image.

Genesis 1:27



In me you live and move and have your being.

Acts 17:28



For you are my offspring.

Acts 17:28



I knew you even before you were conceived.

Jeremiah 1:4-5



I chose you when I planned creation.

Ephesians 1:11-12



You were not a mistake,

for all your days are written in my book.

Psalm 139:15-16



I determined the exact time of your birth

and where you would live.

Acts 17:26



You are fearfully and wonderfully made.

Psalm 139:14



I knit you together in your mother's womb.

Psalm 139:13



And brought you forth on the day you were born.

Psalm 71:6



I have been misrepresented

by those who don't know me.

John 8:41-44



I am not distant and angry,

but am the complete expression of love.

1 John 4:16



And it is my desire to lavish my love on you.

1 John 3:1



Simply because you are my child

and I am your Father.

1 John 3:1



I offer you more than your earthly father ever could.

Matthew 7:11



For I am the perfect father.

Matthew 5:48



Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand.

James 1:17



For I am your provider and I meet all your needs.

Matthew 6:31-33



My plan for your future has always been filled with hope.

Jeremiah 29:11



Because I love you with an everlasting love.

Jeremiah 31:3



My thoughts toward you are countless

as the sand on the seashore.

Psalms 139:17-18



And I rejoice over you with singing.

Zephaniah 3:17



I will never stop doing good to you.

Jeremiah 32:40



For you are my treasured possession.

Exodus 19:5



I desire to establish you

with all my heart and all my soul.

Jeremiah 32:41



And I want to show you great and marvelous things.

Jeremiah 33:3



If you seek me with all your heart,

you will find me.

Deuteronomy 4:29



Delight in me and I will give you

the desires of your heart.

Psalm 37:4



For it is I who gave you those desires.

Philippians 2:13



I am able to do more for you

than you could possibly imagine.

Ephesians 3:20



For I am your greatest encourager.

2 Thessalonians 2:16-17



I am also the Father who comforts you

in all your troubles.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4



When you are brokenhearted,

I am close to you.

Psalm 34:18



As a shepherd carries a lamb,

I have carried you close to my heart.

Isaiah 40:11



One day I will wipe away

every tear from your eyes.

Revelation 21:3-4



And I'll take away all the pain

you have suffered on this earth.

Revelation 21:3-4



I am your Father, and I love you

even as I love my son, Jesus.

John 17:23



For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed.

John 17:26



He is the exact representation of my being.

Hebrews 1:3



He came to demonstrate that I am for you,

not against you.

Romans 8:31



And to tell you that I am not counting your sins.

2 Corinthians 5:18-19



Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled.

2 Corinthians 5:18-19



His death was the ultimate expression

of my love for you.

1 John 4:10



I gave up everything I loved

that I might gain your love.

Romans 8:31-32



If you receive the gift of my son Jesus,

you receive me.

1 John 2:23



And nothing will ever separate you

from my love again.

Romans 8:38-39



Come home and I'll throw the biggest party

heaven has ever seen.

Luke 15:7



I have always been Father,

and will always be Father.

Ephesians 3:14-15



My question is…

Will you be my child?

John 1:12-13



I am waiting for you.

Luke 15:11-32



Love, Your Dad



Father's Love Letter used by permission Father Heart Communications


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