This morning after spending some time online I was thinking about what it was that made me feel so...yucky. Sure, I was unproductive and could have spent the time doing something more worthwhile, but there was something else going on. When I asked God about it, "comparing" came to mind.
Maybe it's something about facebook and other social media, being able to see what everyone is doing. Why do I look to others to determine my value and worth? Sure, comparisons can be benign and insignificant... or...so I think? But what's at the root of all this comparing? I have a good life, no I have a great life! I am so blessed---so....why would I compare? Why would I let the world (even my controlled facebook world) shape the way I view myself? Is it a lack of acceptance of who God made me to be? Maybe a lack of identity--that I don't fully know who I am in Christ and the gift of righteousness he has given me? Here are my thoughts as I dig to get this yucky root of comparison out of my life and allow God to replace it with HIS LOVE.
Sometimes in my comparisons, I measure up...these are the people who live like me...usually my friends. When I read their posts or see what's going on with them, I feel validated, equal, okay! These are the comparisons that may be 'benign'. But not really, because even if I seem to be 'okay' or equal to my peers.... am I really being who God designed me to be? Galatians 6:4 says: "Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else." So I really don't need to look to other people! I need to base my opinion of myself on what God says about me!!!
Sometimes in my comparisons, I feel pride or superiority (yuck, that's hard to admit). Maybe I (usually subconsciously) think that I'm better than someone based on what is going on in their life according to social media. This is where judging and criticism can occur.....not a pretty thing since I am no better than anyone else. This has led me to many “plank in the eye” experiences recently (more posts to come on this, but see Luke 6:37-42). Comparison can produce superiority and pride-those things are NOT part of the new creation I became when I trusted Christ.
Sometimes in my comparisons, I don't measure up...and I feel disappointed, inferior, or insecure. Maybe, according to facebook posts, I think someone's life is better or easier than mine. Maybe I think they have a more exciting life, or they have more things, or do things better...maybe they are richer or prettier or smarter (based on my opinion according to facebook). This is really dangerous as it can open the door to resentment and envy (James 3:14)...really ugly, and NOT WHO I AM in Christ!!!
When confronted with sin, I've learned that before I'm ready to change, sometimes I have to see just how bad it is...what damage it has caused. Maybe that's why this issue has taken me so long to confront! It’s an easy one to gloss over and think, ‘oh it’s not that big of a deal’. But when God started revealing the damage this lie has done, and what bigger issues it has caused, I can see that it has gone on long enough. Comparing has caused me the pain of feeling insecure and unloved, when that is not the truth. It has caused me to want something I don’t have and to not like and appreciate what I do have. It has caused me to judge others unfairly, damaging or missing out on relationships. It has caused me to doubt others and not believe the truth of God’s word about them. In comparing myself and my circumstances to others, I am showing ingratitude at the highest level. Covetousness, greed and selfishness masked-so, it is a big deal! Colossians 3:5 leads me to see that this is idolatry. Wow! That makes it seem a little more serious.
Don't fret if you find yourself in this same ‘comparison boat’ with me ...we are not the first ones to go there! Psalm 106 gives a rundown of the Israelites' history with this sin. Even though we see the effects of it, it is so easy to fall into deception and open the door to rebellion. I have been taken captive by the enemy…but by the grace of God, I have come to my senses and will escape the trap (2 Timothy 2:26)! I am so thankful that In Christ, I don't have to be condemned when I'm convicted of this or any other sin (Romans 8:1). Each time I've been convicted of comparing over the last year or so (and each time I will be in the future) is an opportunity for me to agree with the ONE who loves me! I can agree with Him that it's not good or fruitful for me to compare. I can agree with him that it's a sin and not fitting for my life. I can allow Him to mold me and shape me into the woman he designed me to be. OR...I can compare myself to someone else, making myself feel better by thinking "at least I don't do that"...and waste the opportunity of conviction to renew my mind to the truth of God's word. Because the truth of God's word is: 2 Corinthians 10:12 "We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise." The truth is-we are all equal IN CHRIST Colossians 3:11
So…now I know how detrimental it can be….but how do I change it? How do I stop comparing? Since obedience is a fruit of righteousness, I will not be loved any less even if I continue to compare myself to others. But to change-I know I have to trust the Holy Spirit to guide me and sanctify me-he will complete the good work he began in me (and in you!!) Philippians 1:6. I know this isn’t going to be an overnight immediate change since I’ve believed these lies for so long they have become a stronghold, I will have to trust the Lord to change me from glory to glory. I will have to believe 2 Peter 1:3-4 His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.
I know I need a thankful heart, because a thankful heart is a happy heart (Yes, I’m now singing the Veggie Tales Thankfulness Song!) Thankfulness really comes from being content…check out what Paul said in Philippians 4:11. I will need to have my mind renewed daily Romans 12:2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Here are some verses that will align my thinking in this area.
Galatians 5:25-26MSG Since this is the kind of life we have chosen, the life of the Spirit, let us make sure that we do not just hold it as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its implications in every detail of our lives. That means we will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse. We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original. Wow! That is a good word to think on and renew my mind!
Romans 12:6 MSG let's just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren't. If I could really do that-be what I was made to be…If we could all just do that, wow!
1 Corinthians 4:7-8 MSG For who do you know that really knows you, knows your heart? And even if they did, is there anything they would discover in you that you could take credit for? Isn't everything you have and everything you are sheer gifts from God? So what's the point of all this comparing and competing? You already have all you need. You already have more access to God than you can handle.
One of the things I like about a blog is the ability to search for 'tags' in previous posts. When I journal, I recall writing something down or learning it, but it's usually difficult to find where I wrote it or when it occurred. I knew God had been working with me on this topic for quite sometime...but I found a post on my blog from over a year ago....wow! Hope I get this one soon! I know God's word is alive and active in me-my mind is constantly being renewed! I did find in my journal some notes from a sermon podcast I listened to by Robert Morris titled "The sin of comparison" at Gateway Church on 3-20-10.
As a side note, I don't think FB is bad! I think it can be used for great things like encouraging others and staying in touch with friends and family. This comparison thing is a struggle that I've had for awhile now, and in dealing with it there have been periods of time where I did not get on FB for weeks. That didn't solve the problem...so FB is not the issue, it's how I use FB or any other social media-my motives. Just like any issue in life...if I run from it, but don't get to the root of it I don't solve anything. I’ve had to check my motives and really trust God as we dig this out together. Most of the comparing I’ve done has probably not been online, but in groups of people (especially at church, school, etc.) Thanks for reading this...I didn't intend for it to be so loooong:)
Friday, February 11, 2011
Monday, February 7, 2011
Psalm 138:8
Psalm 138:8 - Passage Lookup - New Living Translation - BibleGateway.com: "Psalm 138:8 (New Living Translation)
8 The Lord will work out his plans for my life—
for your faithful love, O Lord, endures forever.
Don’t abandon me, for you made me."
Psalm 138:8 (Amplified Bible)
8The Lord will perfect that which concerns me; Your mercy and loving-kindness, O Lord, endure forever--forsake not the works of Your own hands.
8 The Lord will work out his plans for my life—
for your faithful love, O Lord, endures forever.
Don’t abandon me, for you made me."
Psalm 138:8 (Amplified Bible)
8The Lord will perfect that which concerns me; Your mercy and loving-kindness, O Lord, endure forever--forsake not the works of Your own hands.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Mom
Today we would have celebrated momma's 69th birthday. I wonder what she would look like, what she would act like, what she would dress like (lol) now. I'm sure she would enjoy my girls and all her grandchildren. I know she must be just having a grand time in heaven, but it feels like she missed out on so much here in MY life (yes, I sense the selfishness there:)) She missed my college graduation, wedding, married life, childbirth, child rearing...all the things you want a momma to be there for and answer your questions and tell you she's proud of you. I know relationships aren't perfect, but it seems like you could trust a mom more than anyone when dealing with marriage or child rearing issues...that she would listen (not judge) and give sound advice. Of course, I am just imagining this, I have no knowledge by experience.
I won't experience having a relationship with my mom as an adult because twelve years ago last month, my momma died. I won't get to hear the answers to my questions about her life or mine (and I won't get the sometimes unwanted advice that some of you may deal with). For some reason this year it hit me hard...I almost broke down when I went grocery shopping and saw the poinsettias. That was the last thing I gave momma...I went to her apartment the week before she died and tried to cheer her up and decorate for Christmas with flowers. This December, I disliked poinsettias and struggled to keep my joy all Christmas season. Then, God reminded me that His plans are to prosper me and not to harm me, to give me hope and a future(Jeremiah 29:11) He reminded me of His promise in Psalm 126 that those who sow with tears will reap in songs of joy. He showed me that He wants to satisfy me with His love that I may sing for joy and be glad all my days!!(Psalm 90:14-15)
So I got my joy back, but still wondered how God planned to meet my desire to have a momma. Last year God walked me through the whole daddy thing...that He is my daddy since I don't have on on earth. But when I brought this momma thing to Him, I was surprised at what he showed me. When I complained about all things I wanted a momma for, He showed me that He meets all those needs!
One of the things I wanted in a mom was the unconditional love-the always thinking of you kind of love...God showed me Isaiah 49:15-16 Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me. Wow....He's even better than a momma! He may not "call on the phone" to check on me several times a day like I would expect momma to do...but He is even closer than a phone call!
Another thing I desired in a momma relationship was comfort. As a momma to small girls I love that they can just crawl up in my lap and snuggle for comfort when they have a rough time...I wanted that comfort too! God showed me Isaiah 66:10-13 As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you. Wow! Isn't God good!!
One of the things I 've wished I had in a mother is one to go to for advice and wisdom, someone who's been there, done that! Proverbs 2:6 says For the LORD gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding. I want MOMMY wisdom in these areas:
M anage-how to manage my time
O bey-how to live out obedience to God's plan
M oney-how to be a good steward of God's provision
M arriage-how to enjoy life with my husband
Y oung'uns :)-how to raise children for God's glory
God brought to my mind James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. Colossians 2:3 tells me that all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge are hidden in Christ. Proverbs 9:10 tells us that The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. So, again God has given immeasurably more than I could ask or imagine!! He has way more wisdom to offer than even the wisest momma out there!
I have always tried to be so independent....but I need others, especially without a momma. I have searched for a person (or people) to fill the 'momma' desires I have- for wisdom, comfort, love...thinking they could all be filled by one person (or several) in the absence of my mother. What I am discovering is that God can meet all my needs and desires! When I abide in Christ, he will fill all the needs of my heart. Of course He is good and has also given me other believers to encourage me in this life(Hebrews 10:24-25). Usually when I really need them, that's when I reject and push them away, but we're working on it (that's for another post:). He has blessed me with wonderful family, friends, mentors and spiritual mommas...and I know there will be more! But I will remember that HE IS ALL I NEED!!!!
I won't experience having a relationship with my mom as an adult because twelve years ago last month, my momma died. I won't get to hear the answers to my questions about her life or mine (and I won't get the sometimes unwanted advice that some of you may deal with). For some reason this year it hit me hard...I almost broke down when I went grocery shopping and saw the poinsettias. That was the last thing I gave momma...I went to her apartment the week before she died and tried to cheer her up and decorate for Christmas with flowers. This December, I disliked poinsettias and struggled to keep my joy all Christmas season. Then, God reminded me that His plans are to prosper me and not to harm me, to give me hope and a future(Jeremiah 29:11) He reminded me of His promise in Psalm 126 that those who sow with tears will reap in songs of joy. He showed me that He wants to satisfy me with His love that I may sing for joy and be glad all my days!!(Psalm 90:14-15)
So I got my joy back, but still wondered how God planned to meet my desire to have a momma. Last year God walked me through the whole daddy thing...that He is my daddy since I don't have on on earth. But when I brought this momma thing to Him, I was surprised at what he showed me. When I complained about all things I wanted a momma for, He showed me that He meets all those needs!
One of the things I wanted in a mom was the unconditional love-the always thinking of you kind of love...God showed me Isaiah 49:15-16 Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me. Wow....He's even better than a momma! He may not "call on the phone" to check on me several times a day like I would expect momma to do...but He is even closer than a phone call!
Another thing I desired in a momma relationship was comfort. As a momma to small girls I love that they can just crawl up in my lap and snuggle for comfort when they have a rough time...I wanted that comfort too! God showed me Isaiah 66:10-13 As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you. Wow! Isn't God good!!
One of the things I 've wished I had in a mother is one to go to for advice and wisdom, someone who's been there, done that! Proverbs 2:6 says For the LORD gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding. I want MOMMY wisdom in these areas:
M anage-how to manage my time
O bey-how to live out obedience to God's plan
M oney-how to be a good steward of God's provision
M arriage-how to enjoy life with my husband
Y oung'uns :)-how to raise children for God's glory
God brought to my mind James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. Colossians 2:3 tells me that all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge are hidden in Christ. Proverbs 9:10 tells us that The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. So, again God has given immeasurably more than I could ask or imagine!! He has way more wisdom to offer than even the wisest momma out there!
I have always tried to be so independent....but I need others, especially without a momma. I have searched for a person (or people) to fill the 'momma' desires I have- for wisdom, comfort, love...thinking they could all be filled by one person (or several) in the absence of my mother. What I am discovering is that God can meet all my needs and desires! When I abide in Christ, he will fill all the needs of my heart. Of course He is good and has also given me other believers to encourage me in this life(Hebrews 10:24-25). Usually when I really need them, that's when I reject and push them away, but we're working on it (that's for another post:). He has blessed me with wonderful family, friends, mentors and spiritual mommas...and I know there will be more! But I will remember that HE IS ALL I NEED!!!!
Saturday, November 20, 2010
not good enough
sometimes I feel not good enough...inferior...compared to someone else. I don't like this and I don't know why I feel this way. I know that I am complete in Christ and he made me...I am accepted in the beloved! It's usually around rich or high class people that I don't feel good enough...it's not about them...the lady I'm thinking of is so sweet and accepting (on the outside??)Can't put my finger on whay I feel this way? I guess I'm judging myself as not good enough???Lord help me to get to the root of this and see myself the way you do!!!
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Righteousness
I love that God's word is alive and active...and changing me! I read Proverbs 10 yesterday, as I have many times on the tenth of the month. Yesterday the word righteous stood out to me in a new way. I am realizing that in Christ, I am righteous...so all the things it says about the righteous describes me (and you) in Christ. Here are a few of the promises about the righteous...
11 The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life
21 The lips of the righteous nourish many
28 The prospect of the righteous is joy
30 The righteous will never be uprooted
31 From the mouth of the righteous comes the fruit of wisdom
32 The lips of the righteous know what finds favor
11 The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life
21 The lips of the righteous nourish many
28 The prospect of the righteous is joy
30 The righteous will never be uprooted
31 From the mouth of the righteous comes the fruit of wisdom
32 The lips of the righteous know what finds favor
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Seeing Good
Wednesday night Pastor Charlie taught on Philippians 4. Part of the lesson was about our attitude toward life. I've been realizing lately that my attitude stinks often!! Last Sunday I prayed that God would help me to stop being so negative in my thinking. This week He did just that! I realized one night that we were all sitting down to eat dinner together....and we do this most nights each week. How many families can say that they are able to enjoy dinners together each evening?? I am so blessed, but if I continue to look at the bad things, I will never be able to see the blessings!!! I am so blessed:) and thankful that God is opening my eyes to see it!!!
Blessings just from the past 2 days:
Found a special earring that has been missing for 4 years!
Got a brand new $60 pair of jeans (that are LONG enough!!) for FREE!!!
Had an unexpected lunch with a former aquantaince
Enjoyed a fun day shopping with my babies and the mom's group
Had dinner with friends (no cooking!!)
Get to post to my blog while girls ar napping an honey is hunting!
Got to bless a neighbor with a card and gift and share a testimony....seed planting!
I could go on and on....God is so good and I want my eyes opened to see the Good He is working in my life!
Blessings just from the past 2 days:
Found a special earring that has been missing for 4 years!
Got a brand new $60 pair of jeans (that are LONG enough!!) for FREE!!!
Had an unexpected lunch with a former aquantaince
Enjoyed a fun day shopping with my babies and the mom's group
Had dinner with friends (no cooking!!)
Get to post to my blog while girls ar napping an honey is hunting!
Got to bless a neighbor with a card and gift and share a testimony....seed planting!
I could go on and on....God is so good and I want my eyes opened to see the Good He is working in my life!
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Know it All
I have so enjoyed having Zaleigh in Cubbies, learning God's word and hiding it in her heart! We have fun learning the verses and she loves game time!!! I was surprised this week at the revelation I got from her verse. "Luke 2:52-and Jesus grew in wisdom"
Sometimes, I think I know it all...of course, the older I get, the more I realize how little I know. So, just imagine me as a teenager, wow- was I a know-it-all! In the past I have been so afraid to look like I didn't know it all, that I have pretended that I did know it all.
This verse was comforting to see that even Jesus grew in wisdom. Even though he was God and he did know everything, he still grew in wisdom!! How much more do I need to grow in wisdom???
Thank you Lord for your Word. Lord I want wisdom more than riches, let me grow in YOUR wisdom, not the world's wisdom.
Sometimes, I think I know it all...of course, the older I get, the more I realize how little I know. So, just imagine me as a teenager, wow- was I a know-it-all! In the past I have been so afraid to look like I didn't know it all, that I have pretended that I did know it all.
This verse was comforting to see that even Jesus grew in wisdom. Even though he was God and he did know everything, he still grew in wisdom!! How much more do I need to grow in wisdom???
Thank you Lord for your Word. Lord I want wisdom more than riches, let me grow in YOUR wisdom, not the world's wisdom.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Not by might...
Zechariah 4:6
So he said to me, “This is the word of the LORD to Zerubbabel: ‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the LORD Almighty.
I can't take the glory for myself....Pride comes from the enemy (but so does condemnation). When I understand the message of grace, the only thing left to do is worship God!
How can I do what God calls me to do when I don't have 'enough'? It's a great time for God to show off. His grace is sufficient (2 Corinthians 12:9)
So he said to me, “This is the word of the LORD to Zerubbabel: ‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the LORD Almighty.
I can't take the glory for myself....Pride comes from the enemy (but so does condemnation). When I understand the message of grace, the only thing left to do is worship God!
How can I do what God calls me to do when I don't have 'enough'? It's a great time for God to show off. His grace is sufficient (2 Corinthians 12:9)
Amazing Grace
God has been teaching me about grace and who I really am in Christ. I have had a hard time learning this, and seem to continue to doubt what He really says about me is true. Because I accept Christ's sacrifice, I am the righteousness of Christ.
Last night I was convicted of some negative attitudes and wrong thinking...this morning I was living in condemnation about them...thinking to myself that I keep ending up here and will never be able to change, and wondering why I can't 'get this'! One of the things Pastor Charlie reminded me this morning is that condemnation is from the devil (Romans 8:1). Then as we read in Zechariah 3:1-7 I realized that I was listening to the accuser. These verses spoke to my heart what God has been teaching me through the Living Loved Living Free Bible Study and Search for Significance. I have been so slow in believing, but this demonstrates that Christ will put rich garments on me instead of my filthy clothes!
Verse 5 talks about putting a clean covering on his head...the mind of grace! Oh Lord, how I long for you to renew my mind day by day! Thank you that you are changing me, and the work has been done, I just need to trust you!!
Last night I was convicted of some negative attitudes and wrong thinking...this morning I was living in condemnation about them...thinking to myself that I keep ending up here and will never be able to change, and wondering why I can't 'get this'! One of the things Pastor Charlie reminded me this morning is that condemnation is from the devil (Romans 8:1). Then as we read in Zechariah 3:1-7 I realized that I was listening to the accuser. These verses spoke to my heart what God has been teaching me through the Living Loved Living Free Bible Study and Search for Significance. I have been so slow in believing, but this demonstrates that Christ will put rich garments on me instead of my filthy clothes!
Verse 5 talks about putting a clean covering on his head...the mind of grace! Oh Lord, how I long for you to renew my mind day by day! Thank you that you are changing me, and the work has been done, I just need to trust you!!
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