Focus on the Family: James Dobson on Parenting

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Prayer

Don't get into works of the flesh. Prayer is God's design to work in partnership with people- it's a mystery. God wants to work through us.
James 4:1-4 ask if its not in his will you won't get it!
Matthew 7:7
Ephesians 3:20
when you feel worried or frustrated PRAY!
John 14:12-14
when we pray In Jesus name we present all that he is.
James 1:8 5:16

Stability

You may have a vision but God can't release ability until you have stability. Dependability.

However many people you can help you can hurt. Kids need stability. Manage our emotions

1 Chronicles 12:33
Prov 25:28
Stable people win war
Just because you feel a certain way doesn't mean you have to act that way. You can help it if you want to, think about how you would change if pastor showed up. We can control ourselves even with our family!

Philippians 1:28-29
If we remain peaceful the devil knows his day is almost over and God knows we are trusting him. Suffering in flesh when we remain stable we want to have a fit. Get your growth in the hard times.Uncontrolled high emotions can cause trouble too

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Moses

When Moses struck the rock for water that was symbolic for when Jesus was struck to provide living water. When Moses struck the rock twice (Numbers 20)those were not his instructions and it symbolized that we can't crucify Jesus twice. Now all we do for some water is pray
We don't need to get into works of the flesh or do things just because that's the way they've always been done.

Estate

Ever seen children fighting over the possessions their parents left behind?
Romans 8:17
Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory

1 Corinthians 2:9
However, as it is written:
"No eye has seen,
no ear has heard,
no mind has conceived
what God has prepared for those who love him

Make sure to read your copy of His will. We don't have to fight over it!
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Comparing

Galatians 6:4
Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else

2 Corinthians 10:12
We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise.

Driving Cool-Cool

Have you ever had one of those days when you're just running about 5 minutes behind for everything? It's like you just woke up late and can't catch up? Today was one of those days for me. All day I felt the need to slow down, Zaleigh even reminded me, as only a 3 year old can: momma, you just need to pray! After a fun but busy morning of running around, we were late to pick a friend up, late to preschool, and late to work....then late to leave work...which meant late to pick Zaleigh up. I was so afraid that she would just be devastated that I wasn't there and she would be the last one there...just waiting on momma. So...I drove too fast (exactly 9 mph over the posted speed limit). Yep, you guessed it...flashing lights in the rear view mirror, and before I had even stopped-tears rolling down my cheeks. I was so upset that I would now be really late to pick her up. With a quick phone call, daddy was off to rescue Zaleigh. I was stuck in time out, a cool down...waiting for a warning ticket to be written, what Z would call a cool- cool. Oh, she would have been quite fascinated by the flashing lights and the sheriff who stopped me. I, on the other hand was humiliated. I know better, yet I still chose to do the wrong thing...and I got caught. While I was waiting for the understanding officer to return with my licence and ticket, I couldn't help but think of how a child must feel when they are disciplined...and all the 'warning signs' I had ignored all day to slow down. Thankfully in the midst of all my emotions, the Holy Spirit reminded me that my Father still loves me even when I mess up!
Lord, thank you for reminders to slow down, and for the warning you give. Help me to yield to those warnings and not keep doing things that aren't right. Please help me to remember the feelings I had today so I can empathize with my child as I discipline her. Thank you for your mercy and grace...and for the warning instead of a ticket!

where's the juicer???

Tonight was one of those nights that will provide me a story to talk about one day when I am teaching the Word or writing a book. I was making something new for dinner....more out of necessity than desire (nothing else in the kitchen, etc.) It said it would take 20 minutes, so I started about 40 minutes before James had to leave for work. The recipe called for fresh minced garlic....I broke the mincer with the first press! The recipe also called for lemon zest and juice from a lemon.
When I realized I was in over my head, I told James I wouldn't have dinner ready...he asked me to make him a sandwich...no biggie-but down to the wire on time-only a few minutes before he had to leave for work. Aleigha was cooperating this whole time (unlike her big sister who wanted mommy's attention every 2 seconds:)) until she had a blowout...that can't be ignored! So, off to change her...had to do a bath to!! Back to the kitchen to make quick sandwich for James and try to finish the dinner that I started for Zaleigh and I.
I am looking all over the kitchen for the juicer...I know exactly what it looks like and where it should be....but I don't know when I used it last? I am not a gourmet cook, and usually buy my juice in a bottle :) SO I am looking, trying to make a sandwich. trying to help James get his stuff together, trying to console 2 kids...one of these moments where everybody wants you and needs you right then!!!
I was about to just break down and cry...I was close enough to the floor looking for the juicer that I thought about just slinking over and melting into the floor with my tears. Then I cried out the all important prayer. God help me!! And He did! I was not going to let circumstances steal my joy. I was not going to let the demands of life rob me of my peace. I was going to enjoy the last few moments with my husband, and not make a task as simple as dinner derail my night with my girls. And, because God is faithful and answered my plea...my night was not ruined.
No, it wasn't immediate....I still had to compose myself and calm down for a moment...let my mind be renewed! But...before the end of the night, I sent my husband to work with a smile and a kiss, had a wonderful dinner with Zaleigh (thankfully she liked it too!) and even played a little and relaxed more after dinner.
Thank you Lord for giving me the patience to deal with life's irritations....and show me where the juicer is!

Are you enjoying life?

This is from an article I read in Joyce Meyer's magazine.

What about you? Are you experiencing satisfaction and contentment with who you are and what you do each day? Are you taking time to notice and appreciate the everyday experiences that can make your life rich and rewarding? Or are you racing through each day just so you can get to the next one? Do you find things to laugh about on a regular basis, or are you allowing your responsibilities and the pressure involved to keep you on edge?

John 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.


We were not created to merely exist, dreading each new day, praying for strength just to make it through another day. NO, we were created to enjoy every aspect of our lives-every day of our lives.

Grace Based Parenting

I started reading this book after deliberation from the first time I picked it up. For some reason it left a bad initial taste in my mouth...but it is making sense now.

Chapter one describes what is meant by the term 'grace based parenting' . It is not as I had originally thought...letting your kids get by with anything using grace as an excuse. Grace based parents are cognizant of the three driving needs of their child:
1. A need for security
2. A need for significance
3. A need for strength
and we strive to meet the needs by giving love, purpose and hope!

At the end of chapter 2 the author, Dr. Tim Kimmel gives an analogy of parents as a lighthouse to their children. He talks about visiting an old lighthouse and being disappointed when he discovers that the light no longer works...it is a dark house. If we don't let our light shine to guide our children that is what we can too easily become. Matthew 5:16 In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.
Lord please help me to depend on you as my light source. Let me always shine and give me your grace to be the parent you have created me to be.