It's Not Fair!!!

My precious (almost) 5 year old is really going through a "it's not fair" stage right now.  She keeps saying it..over and over and over!  Usually she sees it as not fair from her perspective-like sissy gets something she doesn't.  I confirm her message that life isn't "fair" but try to show her from the other perspective-that she is on the blessed side of it not being fair.  We've talked about our Compassion child, Nazia and her living conditions compared to ours.  I remind her how blessed she is to have food and home and a mom and dad who love her.  I've told her that it's not fair that Jesus died for our sins-it wasn't fair to Him...but He did it!

Even after all this-she keeps repeating the phrase "it's not fair!!!" when things don't go her way. Yesterday she had a big fit because her little sister got to put her water in to make mac and cheese first.  As a mom, I had a reason for that-Aleigha takes WAY longer to eat, so she needed to start cooking hers first.  Zaleigh got very upset that it wasn't fair that Aleigha got to make hers first...she had to go cool off in her room before we could even talk. 

While she cooled off, I prayed about how to teach her.  I recognized that the problem is comparison-wanting what other's have...unfortunately, she comes by it naturally!  I recalled the last part of John 21 when Peter asks "what about him?" wanting to know if John's fate would be the same as his. Jesus' answer is what we need to focus on when life doesn't seem fair "...what is that to you? You must follow me" John 21:22b

So Zaleigh and I decided that when she feels like something isn't fair, instead of whining she will say "This doesn't seem fair, BUT God is good all the time and I will trust Him!!" We'll see how that works out for her :)

I've already been confronted with it!  I was feeling grouchy and grumpy...because life doesn't seem fair and I don't understand God.  My friend's brother died a year ago at such a young age...that's not fair!  When I think about her parents loosing their son (and can't imagine loosing my precious girls)...that's not fair!  Today I think about my daddy who has been gone for 14 years....that's not fair!  When a momma looses a baby that she didn't even get to hold....that's not fair!  There are many things in life that aren't fair...but we have a choice to make.

As He often does, God used the words I lead my daughters with to teach me as well...Am I trusting God even though it doesn't seem fair?   What is it to me that He chooses this for my life and something different for another's life...I will follow Him!

Isaiah 55:9“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

I won't keep searching for answers that aren't here to find....

All I know is I'm not home yet
This is not where I belong
Take this world and give me Jesus

How we remember

I tend to be one who ignores feelings that I don't want to deal with.  An ostrich.  I just move on as if nothing happened and everything will be okay.  That's what I have done for a while each time I have lost a loved one.  Ignore it, think it will go away...of course it doesn't.  But maybe the time I took in ignoring it allowed God to build my strength up to handle it-or allowed me to see that He is the one who will walk me through it. 


Of course today is 9/11 and it's a day we will never forget...but I don't really want to remember.  Having a very inquisitive 4 year old, it was impossible for me to completely ignore it-she asks such probing questions.  I was not personally impacted as far as the loss of a loved one on that day, so it was fairly easy to answer her questions without being overcome by grief.  I guess I was able to explain it and look at it from an historical perspective...like something you would read from a history book as if you didn't experience it in your lifetime.  Is the disconnect a good thing?  Am I afraid to really engage in it and deal with the feelings and grief? It reminded me of how I have processed grief in my life....asking myself if I have processed it fully. 



I can't imagine the families of the 9/11 victims (or any other public events) who have to process their grief publicly.  The media coverage-of course we don't want to forget....but to the families who are ready to move on-they will have a hard time ignoring this day.  Thankfully, on the 10th anniversary of the loss of either of my parents, there was no one asking me how I was doing or how it had changed my life.  I am very thankful I was able to handle the grief privately...allowing the Lord to heal me in His way and His time and not need to answer to media. I think the familiese need to know that others care and remember their loved ones, but I can't imagine the whole nation remembering the date and circumstances of that loss.


Praying today for our nation, for those who lost loved ones (on this day or any other) that we will experience Isaiah 61 in our lives. 



1 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,
2 to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor.

This song is God's plan for us in the midst of tragedy...He wants His people to rise!