It's Not Fair!!!

My precious (almost) 5 year old is really going through a "it's not fair" stage right now.  She keeps saying it..over and over and over!  Usually she sees it as not fair from her perspective-like sissy gets something she doesn't.  I confirm her message that life isn't "fair" but try to show her from the other perspective-that she is on the blessed side of it not being fair.  We've talked about our Compassion child, Nazia and her living conditions compared to ours.  I remind her how blessed she is to have food and home and a mom and dad who love her.  I've told her that it's not fair that Jesus died for our sins-it wasn't fair to Him...but He did it!

Even after all this-she keeps repeating the phrase "it's not fair!!!" when things don't go her way. Yesterday she had a big fit because her little sister got to put her water in to make mac and cheese first.  As a mom, I had a reason for that-Aleigha takes WAY longer to eat, so she needed to start cooking hers first.  Zaleigh got very upset that it wasn't fair that Aleigha got to make hers first...she had to go cool off in her room before we could even talk. 

While she cooled off, I prayed about how to teach her.  I recognized that the problem is comparison-wanting what other's have...unfortunately, she comes by it naturally!  I recalled the last part of John 21 when Peter asks "what about him?" wanting to know if John's fate would be the same as his. Jesus' answer is what we need to focus on when life doesn't seem fair "...what is that to you? You must follow me" John 21:22b

So Zaleigh and I decided that when she feels like something isn't fair, instead of whining she will say "This doesn't seem fair, BUT God is good all the time and I will trust Him!!" We'll see how that works out for her :)

I've already been confronted with it!  I was feeling grouchy and grumpy...because life doesn't seem fair and I don't understand God.  My friend's brother died a year ago at such a young age...that's not fair!  When I think about her parents loosing their son (and can't imagine loosing my precious girls)...that's not fair!  Today I think about my daddy who has been gone for 14 years....that's not fair!  When a momma looses a baby that she didn't even get to hold....that's not fair!  There are many things in life that aren't fair...but we have a choice to make.

As He often does, God used the words I lead my daughters with to teach me as well...Am I trusting God even though it doesn't seem fair?   What is it to me that He chooses this for my life and something different for another's life...I will follow Him!

Isaiah 55:9“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

I won't keep searching for answers that aren't here to find....

All I know is I'm not home yet
This is not where I belong
Take this world and give me Jesus

Father's love letter

This is a precious letter I found on another blog this morning....click here to watch it on video, or just read it below. 

My Child,


You may not know me,

but I know everything about you.

Psalm 139:1



I know when you sit down and when you rise up.

Psalm 139:2



I am familiar with all your ways.

Psalm 139:3



Even the very hairs on your head are numbered.

Matthew 10:29-31



For you were made in my image.

Genesis 1:27



In me you live and move and have your being.

Acts 17:28



For you are my offspring.

Acts 17:28



I knew you even before you were conceived.

Jeremiah 1:4-5



I chose you when I planned creation.

Ephesians 1:11-12



You were not a mistake,

for all your days are written in my book.

Psalm 139:15-16



I determined the exact time of your birth

and where you would live.

Acts 17:26



You are fearfully and wonderfully made.

Psalm 139:14



I knit you together in your mother's womb.

Psalm 139:13



And brought you forth on the day you were born.

Psalm 71:6



I have been misrepresented

by those who don't know me.

John 8:41-44



I am not distant and angry,

but am the complete expression of love.

1 John 4:16



And it is my desire to lavish my love on you.

1 John 3:1



Simply because you are my child

and I am your Father.

1 John 3:1



I offer you more than your earthly father ever could.

Matthew 7:11



For I am the perfect father.

Matthew 5:48



Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand.

James 1:17



For I am your provider and I meet all your needs.

Matthew 6:31-33



My plan for your future has always been filled with hope.

Jeremiah 29:11



Because I love you with an everlasting love.

Jeremiah 31:3



My thoughts toward you are countless

as the sand on the seashore.

Psalms 139:17-18



And I rejoice over you with singing.

Zephaniah 3:17



I will never stop doing good to you.

Jeremiah 32:40



For you are my treasured possession.

Exodus 19:5



I desire to establish you

with all my heart and all my soul.

Jeremiah 32:41



And I want to show you great and marvelous things.

Jeremiah 33:3



If you seek me with all your heart,

you will find me.

Deuteronomy 4:29



Delight in me and I will give you

the desires of your heart.

Psalm 37:4



For it is I who gave you those desires.

Philippians 2:13



I am able to do more for you

than you could possibly imagine.

Ephesians 3:20



For I am your greatest encourager.

2 Thessalonians 2:16-17



I am also the Father who comforts you

in all your troubles.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4



When you are brokenhearted,

I am close to you.

Psalm 34:18



As a shepherd carries a lamb,

I have carried you close to my heart.

Isaiah 40:11



One day I will wipe away

every tear from your eyes.

Revelation 21:3-4



And I'll take away all the pain

you have suffered on this earth.

Revelation 21:3-4



I am your Father, and I love you

even as I love my son, Jesus.

John 17:23



For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed.

John 17:26



He is the exact representation of my being.

Hebrews 1:3



He came to demonstrate that I am for you,

not against you.

Romans 8:31



And to tell you that I am not counting your sins.

2 Corinthians 5:18-19



Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled.

2 Corinthians 5:18-19



His death was the ultimate expression

of my love for you.

1 John 4:10



I gave up everything I loved

that I might gain your love.

Romans 8:31-32



If you receive the gift of my son Jesus,

you receive me.

1 John 2:23



And nothing will ever separate you

from my love again.

Romans 8:38-39



Come home and I'll throw the biggest party

heaven has ever seen.

Luke 15:7



I have always been Father,

and will always be Father.

Ephesians 3:14-15



My question is…

Will you be my child?

John 1:12-13



I am waiting for you.

Luke 15:11-32



Love, Your Dad



Father's Love Letter used by permission Father Heart Communications


© 1999-2011 www.FathersLoveLetter.com

Hot Dog

It's HOT here!  Last week several men were in the heat all day (and all night in some cases) to make hot rod camp a success by sharing the love of Christ with 10 boys.  A week ago Saturday we got to hear the start up of the 1923 T bucket and the 1997 sportster that the youth from Tulsa Boys Home put together that week at Hot Rod Camp with the guidance of some dedicated men (including my husband!!!).  It was awesome for me to hear my husband address the crowd and tell the kids that the bike was cool but the reason they were there was to share the love of Christ.  It was also great to hear those same boys tell of the week as the best of their lives!  Last Sunday my heart was so happy hearing my husband speak in front of our church family telling what Hot Rod Camp had meant to him. 

1923 T Bucket that was restored during HRC 2011

Seeing the men work on this project had me thinking alot about my daddy.  This is something he would have LOVED to do.  He had a 1916 Model T (and some others I can't recall) that he had planned to restore before he died.  As I thought about how much I respect the men working at hot rod camp, I realized that I hadn't really respected my daddy.  Recently, I had a conversation with my baby brother about our daddy and I was amazed at the nice things he had to say about daddy.  That led me to think about how I saw daddy and what needed to change. 



One of the cars Daddy had around 1990

After realizing that I didn't properly respect my daddy while he was here on earth, I recalled this verse:

Where there is no vision [no redemptive revelation of God], the people perish; but he who keeps the law [of God, which includes that of man]--blessed (happy, fortunate, and enviable) is he.  Proverbs 29:18 I never had a redemptive revelation of my daddy....meaning that I never saw him through the blood of Jesus.  I saw him as an alcoholic and experienced that rejection as his little girl. 

I thought that I had forgiven him, but I see that it wasn't complete before now.  Even though my daddy wasn't able to meet all my needs as a little girl and made many mistakes-he is forgiven.  He put his trust in Jesus and became sober shortly before he died.  I saw the change and try to always remember those times, but never really let go of the hurts from before that time. When my daddy but his trust in Jesus, he was made brand new!!

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! 2 Corinthians 5:17

Because daddy trusted in Jesus he was justified...it's just as if he'd done everything right.   This is what Jesus did for me when I fully put my trust in Him, it's what He did for my daddy when he trusted him, and it's what He will do for all who call out to Him and fully trust in His finished work on the cross for their salvation! 

Instead of their shame my people will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace they will rejoice in their inheritance; and so they will inherit a double portion in their land, and everlasting joy will be theirs. Isaiah 61:7

My daddy and I ~1978

On this father's day I am thankful for my daddy.  I am thankful for the grace to fully forgive him and I choose to see him through the blood of Jesus.  Daddy was a hard worker and did his best to care for his family.  I think if he were still alive today his life would demonstrate the righteousness Jesus gave him. 

I am thankful for my husband who is a wonderful daddy to our precious girls.  I am thankful for the redemptive revelation of him- that he is the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus and that I can teach my girls to respect and admire him. 

  

My family with Harley that was customized at HRC 2011



On a lighter note...the title of this post comes from one of Aleigha's prayers.  This two-year old's prayers are just precious, as seems she usually just copies what she has heard prayed before.  One of her prayers last week was "Amen God made hot dog camp, Amen God made my daddy work hot dog camp".  Obviously, not knowing what Hot Rod camp was, she just filled in with a word she knew and gave us many giggles:)! Yep-she says her Amen first, it's really cute to her momma, she's done it like this since she first started praying by herself.  Now that I think about it, it's really neat-she's saying she believes what she prays before she even says it! For no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ. And so through him the “Amen” is spoken by us to the glory of God. 2 Corinthians 1:20

Daddy's Girl

Today my Daddy would turn 64. I wonder what he would look like today? Would he still smell like cherry vanilla pipe tobacco? What would he be like today? If he were still here would I honor him? Would we have a birthday party? Would I still be his little girl? What would our relationship be like? Would he be proud of me? What would he think of his granddaughters? I am certain that my girls would love their Papa Boogie.

It's been almost 13 years since he died. I realized earlier in the week that I have some abandonment issues with that....daddies aren't supposed to die when you are in college. They are supposed to walk you down the aisle when you get married. They are supposed to be there to hold their grandchild. They are supposed to be someone you can count on when life is rough-a place you can go for loving arms and reassurance. A strong place, a protector, someone who will always love you and look out for you....that's what Daddies are supposed to be.
But I don't have my Daddy...Why? Have you ever heard the saying 'Don't ask God why, ask Him what can I learn from this?' Well I did ask Him earlier this week. Here's what I can learn:
Maybe it's so I can learn to trust my heavenly Father, even while I'm on earth. So I can learn that He's the One I can count on when life is rough, He's the place I can go for loving arms and reassurance. He is my strong place, my protector. He is the one who will always love me and look out for me. Yes! That is what I have learned about my heavenly Father in the absence of my earthly father. He knows the plans he has for me, plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future. I will call upon Him and come and pray to Him and He will listen to me. I will seek Him and find him when I seek him with all my heart. (Jeremiah 29:11-13)
My relationship with my daddy was never perfect, he had problems, and so did I. But my relationship with my Abba can be perfected because of Jesus' sacrifice. Even though our relationship was difficult, I have always been a daddy's girl at heart. I longed to know I was special and cared about. Although my daddy wasn't always able to show me that in ways I needed, my Abba can.
I am sometimes envious when I see a daddy and daughter together. I wish I had a daddy here on earth. But even if daddy were here it would take work to honor him and have a good relationship. I thank God He has placed father figures here on earth, but maybe I haven't invested the energy to develop the relationships I would desire. I think I'm scared of being abaondoned again.  Do I put forth the effort to embrace a relationship with my heavenly Father? Probably not, or I would be more healthy and whole now, more like Jesus. I am so thankful that he who began a good work in me will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus....and He's so patient with me! I am so thankful that he will never leave me, even though my daddy 'abandoned' me by death, my heavenly Father will not. Jesus conquered death to give me life and a relationship with my Abba Father!

So, If you are a daddy-realize how important you are in the life of your child. If you have a daddy, be sweet to him! If you don't have a daddy, rejoice that you can have a relationship with your heavenly Father!